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How to Talk to Your Spouse About Their Drinking: 12 Tips

If you are wondering how to talk to your spouse about their drinking, there are some tips you can use to help in this situation. It is a delicate predicament to be in, and handling the situation properly can help prevent angry outbursts and promote a healthy conversation. Having open communication surrounding the topic, and remaining open-minded can help make the conversation easier to have.

Recognizing Signs of Problematic Drinking

Many different signs could be indicative of problematic drinking. Identifying these signs can help get the problem under control before it spirals too far out of control. Some signs to identify can include the inability to control drinking, drinking despite the consequences, blacking out, and prioritizing drinking over other responsibilities. Identifying these, along with other signs, will help to stop the drinking before it begins to be extremely detrimental. Knowing how to talk to your spouse about their drinking begins with recognizing the signs of problematic drinking. 

Choose the Right Time and Place for the Conversation

Alcohol is a depressant substance and it lowers inhibitions. Choosing the right time and place for a conversation is crucial to avoiding blow-ups and bursts of anger. For example, if your loved one gets triggered to angry outbursts when they drink, choosing a time when they haven’t drunk, or drank minimally, to have a conversation would be more productive for the topic of conversation. It is also crucial to ensure your safety, as well as any others involved while discussing the topic. Be sure to have this conversation in a safe environment, when the timing is right.

Prepare for the Discussion

It is vital to educate yourself on the topic when questioning how to talk to your partner about their drinking. Understanding some of the dynamics of alcohol use disorder can help you to understand what your partner is going through. If your partner drinks too much, there may be an underlying reason. Such as trauma, or emotional distress. It is also crucial to prepare yourself emotionally as this conversation may be difficult to have.

Start With Compassion and Understanding

Compassion and understanding can go a long way. Alcohol use disorder can change the brain’s makeup. If you need help learning how to talk to an alcoholic spouse, starting with compassion and understanding can make a huge difference. Often, these conversations can be emotionally charged, and this is often due to the person feeling attacked. Beginning the conversation from a place of love can help prevent them from shutting down.

Express Your Concerns Clearly and Calmly

Emotionally charged conversations when wondering how to talk to your spouse about their drinking can lead to detrimental results. Being clear and concise about your concerns, and expressing them calmly, will help to ensure that the conversation doesn’t take a sharp turn into a fight or argument.

Discuss Possible Reasons for Their Drinking

As previously stated, if your partner drinks too much there may be a reason for it. Trauma is often a contributing factor to someone using alcohol excessively. The feelings, emotions, and anxiety surrounding trauma can be difficult to manage, and because alcohol is a depressant, it seemingly “helps” to alleviate those feelings. It is crucial to understand why when you want to know how to talk to your spouse about their drinking.

Listen Actively to Their Perspective

Active listening is important. If your partner drinks too much and doesn’t feel heard when they discuss the topic with you, they will likely shut down emotionally and not want to talk further. As difficult as this conversation is for you, learning how to listen and understand your partner’s perspective can help create a safe space for your partner to grow an understanding of your perspective. 

Offer Support and Encourage Healthy Choices

If your partner drinks too much, being supportive is important. However, being supportive and enabling them are two different things. You can offer support without enabling them to continue a path of self-destruction. Encouraging them to make healthy choices for themselves, to better their life, can be useful in them beginning to live healthier paths.

Set Boundaries and Discuss Concerns

Part of learning how to talk to your spouse about their drinking is learning to set healthy boundaries for you and them and sticking to them. Boundaries help to keep your emotional well-being up to par. It also shows your partner who drinks too much that you want to help them without causing more damage.

Suggest Seeking Professional Help Together

Offering to walk through the process with your spouse can make them more willing to go through it. Alcohol detox can seem intimidating for someone who is struggling. It is likely a coping mechanism they use to handle uncomfortable situations and feelings, so removing it from their life can be hard to think about. However, if you offer to help them through the process, and walk alongside them as they begin a recovery journey, it could help them to decide to get professional help.

Follow Up and Keep The Dialogue Open

When learning how to talk to your spouse about their drinking keeping the dialogue open, and following up on the conversation is crucial. Allowing the topic to die down, hoping they will just stop on their own can lead to a dangerous cycle. Professional help is key to overcoming alcohol use disorder, and continuing to encourage them to seek help is vital.

Take Care of Your Own Well-Being

You must make yourself a priority. If your partner isn’t able or willing to take the necessary steps to better their life, you’ve got to make sure that you are okay. When you are wondering how to talk to an alcoholic spouse, understanding that they can become emotional is important. Keeping yourself emotionally stable and healthy is even more important.

Get Quality Care

When a loved one is struggling with alcohol it can affect the whole family unit. It is not just the individual who suffers. Their friends, spouses, children, and other family members also feel the impact of their drinking. They can get better with professional help. At Extra Mile Recovery we strive to provide a safe and healing environment where individuals who come to us for help can grow and heal. If you or a loved one are struggling with alcohol, we can help. Call us today and get on a journey to recovery.

Prevent Further Effects of Cocaine on the Body

Cocaine addiction can impact an individual’s life to a severe degree. From broken trust and relationships to health impacts, those struggling with cocaine face challenges daily. Recovery is possible and professional addiction treatment can make a difference. If you or a loved one are struggling, there is help available. At Extra Mile Recovery we provide a safe environment where those who need help can begin their healing journey. Call us today and begin on a path to a better life.

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